Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
