Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
