I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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