I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
