I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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