That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is classic penis vs brain.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
