It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
