Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
