When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
