i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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