called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
