I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
