new low.... made out with someone while peeing
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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