idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
