dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
