I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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