shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
