butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
