Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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