Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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