just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
