quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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