Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
