In America we eat man semen.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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