I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
