I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
