You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
