I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
