I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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