He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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