Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
