If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
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In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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