Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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