You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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