All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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