This house was built for laser tag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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