Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize