i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
