Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize