what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
