how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
