every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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