Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
