You really coming over, don't trick.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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