Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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