No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
