Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
