Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
