Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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