Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sarcasm needs its own font
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
