i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
