Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
