Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
