she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize