I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize