she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
