is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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