my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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