Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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