This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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