I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
