Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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